I am a bit late today angel I'm sorry, I have been doing so many things for you. You would have been 18 months today Eloise I look at other babies and wander how you would be, what you would be saying, how your lovely blonde hair would be. You were so pretty with your cheeky little smile. You would have been a gorgeous little girl. Me and daddy light a candle for you today and also we put a teddy and some things in our little place. You know where they are. All for you with some pretty flowers. 2 weeks till your special day now and 4 weeks till your little sister arrives. Feeling scared, I forget everything and you made it so easy I am worried I won't remember what to do. You will guide me again babe I sure. With me always, exactly where you should be, exactly where you would be if the horrible disgusting doctors had listened. Their time will come Eloise, I have to trust in that. Make me strong for the weeks ahead baby, I hope so badly that your day is special. We all work so hard to make it that way for you. All your friends and family love you and miss you more that you can imagine. Your mummy and daddy miss you every minute and struggle so bad without you, i love you like I tell you everyday I know you hear me I just wish I could hold you or see you again. Love you forever and get through knowing that each that passes means we r one day closer to being together again. Sweetdreams angel time for mummy to sleep. Love you Eloise XXXXXXXXX